Self astrology: Venus/Mars and being "lovestruck"

I’m finished with the series I had planned at the beginning of my blog, so I am pleased with myself. I have been for a long time wanting to blog about myself and how I relate myself to astrology. A lot of astrology bloggers to this; I see this in a way as helping people who have a similar aspect as myself. We’re all very similar but different.

My title for today is “lovestruck” because I think that is something recent that has been happening to me. I mean, we’ve all been “lovestruck” before? What is the definition of being “lovestruck?”

From the Urban Dictionary, here is what it means to be lovestruck:

Like struck with a lightening bolt. The second that you see and meet that person you are instantly in love. Head over heels, can’t stop thinking about that person, want to be with that person, hold them hug them, & and be held and hugged and loved by them in return
Thank you person who wrote that from Urban Dictionary! You GET what I’m feeling right now!

To sum that all up, I’m feeling that way over a guy right now. He’s not just any old guy; just my type. Artistic, creative, tall and handsome ( but in a quirky way ). I love his smile and he makes me laugh. No guy has ever made me laugh before quite like him.

Sometimes I think in my head, “I am in love!” But then another more cynical voice comes into my mind, “You’re not in love, you fool. You just want to fuck him.”

Here is where the astrology comes in: I’ve got a Venus-Pluto aspect; both conjunct and chilling in my 8th house. Now I’ve also got a Venus-Saturn sextile with Saturn chillin like a villain in the 10H. My Venus in Scorpio chills in the 8th house along with Pluto. Now with Mars, I have THAT in Aries/1st house and it’s sextile Jupiter; square Neptune, Saturn and Uranus. My Venus and Mars are quincunx, which basically means my sexual style and my love style are kinda in conflict.

I think I’m instantly lovestruck and full of lust ( I will willingly admit that ) because of my Venus-Pluto aspect, not to mention my Venus Scorpio and all that falling into the 8H, which is notorious about sex. When I like a guy, I know so immediately. I am instantly attracted. Or I am instantly repelled. Not any guy will do; he must be up to my standards of hotness and have a personality I like to top it all of. ( Now I’m not going to like a guy anymore if I don’t like his personality, even if he’s cute. Happened before! )

Now there is a trend with men I like. I’m not usually interested in the sporty, jock type guys. Nor am I attracted to overly ambitious, rich men. I’m also not attracted to the “bad boys.” ( Those annoy me. ) However, I’m typically interested in artsy, almost poetic guys. Neptune guys almost. But I also like guys who have the smarts. Smart, artistic, creative, poetic, musical, etc. They are in contrast of my left brained style. I’m turned on by artistic, right brained men.

“I want his ass.” Thoughts I frequently have… my sexual feelings, I do attribute, to my Venus-Pluto and even my Venus-Neptune aspect. My Mars is also in Aries, which I think doesn’t help too much either. I have sexual feelings, feelings that I repress ( Mars square Saturn and Neptune ) but you want it soo so badly. I think I visualize and dream about sex a lot, but never have it actually.

However, there is always that cynical little voice that tells me to slow down. “Slow down, girl. You’re going to freak him the fuck out! Even if he does have ambitions to get laid with you, you don’t want to get hurt. You’re logical and level headed. Don’t lose that shit for one guy!” ( Venus/8H sextile Saturn/10H; Mars/1H square Saturn/10H )

But there is another voice in my head, “Do it! What do you have to lose? You’re craving passion and closeness! Go get it!” ( Venus-Pluto, Venus-Saturn, Mars in Aries, Venus in Scorpio )

Hey, I know it does not sound good about the “voices.” it’s myself telling me this. My mind tells me another thing and my vagina tells me another. What can I say?

I think sometimes Venus-Pluto can be a curse, especially if you have the conjunction. You feel as though you get obsessed. And this obsession is crazy. I always want to be cool-headed and almost icy, but there’s that passion that wants to be let out.

I grew up to be afraid of sex and being sexy. My grandmother told me girls are meant to be “pure” until marriage. I do not personally hold that value, although I do believe both men and women should value their bodies and not fuck with everyone they see. Self-respect.

However, I tell myself not to be afraid of my sexuality. You only hope that your love interest has the same feelings.

This guy and I… we do talk about some offbeat sexual topics though. I wore a semi low cut shirt ( not horrible, but I only have 36B boobs. They’re not huge, but big enough ) and that day he could not look me in the eye. It’s either because of my breasts and he didn’t want to seem creepy, or he was nervous. No lying, because we weren’t talking about anything crazy that day. Just school and shit like that.